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Let’s say that I met this guy in a group over the internet, and we ended up exchanging phone numbers and emails, we used to talk daily about every thing and about nothing at the same time.
On Saturday night, we agreed to meet for a cup of coffee after the wedding, and I had to drive for like an hour to reach the coffee house. I will not deny that I had a major crush on him, but at the same time I did not know anything about his sexuality, nor I thought that something might happen.
We had coffee and he invited me back to his place for a drink, and may be a little nap for an hour or two before leaving after driving for an hour and dancing the whole night. I agreed, not thinking about anything, and not knowing how the night will end. We went to his room, it was amazing, a big relaxing bed, the whole atmosphere was relaxing. We slept next to each other, not thinking about anything, just waiting the time for me to leave, all of a sudden I felt his lips touching mine, it was so nice, it was like “finally”, and things started to evolve, then after few minutes or an hour I asked him about his HIV status, and he said that he is positive and under treatment, I was shocked, I would see my self going into pieces….that could not be, I will end up being HIV positive, my life will be in ruins, what about the family, my future, what’s going to happen, my heart was racing, and I had about thousands of thoughts running around in my head.
The first reaction was just to hit the guy and beat the crap out of him, but I managed to control my self, the damage is done, beating him will not solve anything.
We talked a lot about it that night, but I just could not take it any more, I had to leave, I had to run away, form this place and from him, thinking if only he was not HIV +, every time I remember what happened I would become furious, blaming him fro what he did to me , and blaming my self for not asking him before hand, I was just assuming that he is HIV-, or that even it will show that he is HIV+ even that I know that HIV+ you cannot tell by looking at them, but at that moment I forgot all what I know about HIV, I had only one idea in my mind, I AM GOING TO BE HIV + AND I AM GOING TO DIE.
I sent him lots of hatred messages, I just could not stand looking at him, or talking to him any more.
but one night I was just sitting thinking for my self, that what he did was a noble thing, he did not lie about his status, as others could have done, and I started blaming my self for blaming him, even though he should have told me before anything happened, but it was my fault for not taking precautions especially I had ulcers in my mouth.
The next day the first thing I did was sending him a message apologizing about the hate messages I sent him, and told him that I am ready to accept the result what ever it was, if it was positive what are the things I should do, and if it was negative what should I do to stay that way.
Ingrid Kloet, right, making decorations for a gay pride parade at the First Nations Community Healthsource on June 13 2008.
DOHA - Don't give up hope and be positive about life even when you are tested HIV positive. This is the message that Ahmed, an Omani national who has been living with HIV for the past 12 years has to convey.
It was a hot summer day, and my Doctor called to tell me I needed to come see her.
“HI. My nick name is A.M. I am a gay living in Palestine. I am 27 years old, and I would like to share with you my experience with H.I.V.
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